Mean People Don't Deserve Chocolate

One might say out of the blue that times have changed and indeed they did, but when you live to experience the contrast you really sit down and start to wonder what the heck did I miss? 

Imagine a time when before the current societal structures there was a place where sweets were the language of love, mine however were the chocolates and they were rare and hard to come by, but I somehow got hold of them always, even latest editions. Women ran the show and not dominating men. Selection, discernment, resource distribution, timing — all were held by the women because those functions align with them and the men held execution, protection, building — but under feminine direction. Neither was above the other. The structure simply followed natural design instead of fighting it. 

My sister loved enjoying this life and specially when it came to men, she was a proper diva. I loved the way she was, me on the other hand I was like an ugly duckling. I wasn't ugly per se, however, I couldn't fit in into societies norms and expectations when it came to being a woman. I just found it brainless and senseless on many level. I also was struggling to find a man I could build a relationship with. It was very difficult because I wanted to study, learn, do researches and observe my subjects I was studying about. I was worst than a bookworm and once I started to work on something I couldn't get my head out of work until I didn't finish my projects. I couldn't find anyone mentally stimulating on my level and then physically also having the wao effect on me. 

One day my sister said she wants to get married as she has found a man to settle with, the chemistry and the words matched between them awesomely. And at these times women had the option to decide when to get married and to whom, they were the ones picking the men not other way around. Once a woman has decided to find a husband, they went and looked for the suitable partner first, which if they matched she openly had to say to the man what her intentions are, and then if the man accepted their interest and offer to marriage, then the real marriage went ahead. Otherwise, even though openly it wasn't promoted, everyone knew that women were "eating" men, aka enjoying sexual life to the fullest, beside doing all sorts of life pleasing activities, way more than men did. Men compared to them were very reserved and were expected to have more dignity. On the day my sister told me what her plan is, I have also decided that ok, that's it, I will tie the knot too. I was actually good looking and had many men who'd wanted to marry me, I just found them empty and boring so I always kept pushing the choice of even entertaining them.

I had a very good friend though. Physically he had zero effect on me, however, he was clever enough to go down the rabbit hole and pretend and experience the process of proper dating and going through all the dating customs our society was expecting us to do. There were norms set up, formal procedures to be followed so once I set my mind, there was no escape, I had to go and do them too. At the beginning I didn't tell him anything, I just went with the flow, everyone thought some miracle happened to me and I fell in love, however, on the contrary. I was like, if it is free to do and I don't have to have sex anyway with anyone who can't excite me, then fuck it, I will just enjoy the circus. 

It was very funny when my sister was trying to teach me how to dress elegantly, and how to hide my wrinkles with a type of sellotape that you had to put on from your chin to just way up under the ear. It was the weirdest shit I have experienced in my whole womenhood. Nonetheless I did it, I couldn't get it right anyway. So basically I just tried to hide the mess I created all the time with my hair down. I also found it hilarious despite the fact that I didn't like this trick... That tape was interesting though, once out and on, it actually melted with the skin and it became almost like invisible and when you wanted to take it off you just sensed the lower edge, held your finger on it for a few seconds and it activated something to come off and you could just easily peel it down. 

So my boyfriend had a mother. She sensed that something was off and she was challenging me all the time. I actually didn't play with the feelings of anyone and most certainly didn't deceive anyone per se, however, as I really liked this guy I had to be fair on him, so I decided to tell him the truth, and let him decide whether we should officially split up or move ahead. He was delighted when he found out what's up. He was in constant fight with his mother so getting a girlfriend was a reason for him too to get away from her. So basically we have decided to get engaged and marry too, so that way society leaves me alone with shit and he gets sort of away from his mother. On the day of our engagement I bought my favourite chocolates to my mother in law, and one for him. Gifting and money giving and stuff during engagement were not a thing at all. And boxed chocolate was my language of love, that was the only thing I gifted when I genuinely felt happy or strong about something or someone.

My sister knew about my hopeless plan, however, she didn't know that I have made a deal with my future husband and we kept that to ourselves. She however, the worried she was and out of concern and love, and with the hope that a wiser and older lady my fiancé's mother seemed to be, she discussed lightly my initial intentions with her in hope to not to have too much issues later on and how to handle this well. Later she did realise what happend as it was conveyed to her by me, but by then mess was stirring so it didn't matter that much anyway. 

My mother in law to be went to my fiancé and she made a huge row about the whole case. It was absolutely disgusting what she has done that day in order to split him up from me and also make sure that a "wreck" like me never gets into her family and was even planning to trash my social life. By societal norms the attitude and well behaviour of a woman was bare minimum, so by smashing my dignity openly she would have tarnished my reputation and my whole life's work. 

I arrived home that afternoon from somewhere and had more chocolate boxes with me, I actually got a new type to treat her. Before entering the house though I heard loud noises and upon opening the door the arguments hit me like an unexpected hurricane. She was screaming at him and swearing at me with absolute force and it was so painful to hear it. I went more inside the house and I saw my fiancé broken. He was sitting on a chair in front of the fireplace and my mother in law to be was standing opposite him screaming his head down. That woman was like a proper energy sucking house dragon, so dark and sooo mean. My heart broke seeing him the way he was. I got very very angry. So I started to scream back at her and I let my aura overshadow hers and I gave her her own medicine the same way she did with her own son (I was a fair, genuine and unique kind of bitch too to be honest). She got a shock and got to her senses and realised what she has done. Of course finally her son was allowed to talk too, and he told her he knew about everything. Then I also told her we agreed to go ahead with this because we are adults and have made our own decisions in terms of how and with who we want to live with. But my anger got really out of control and I was fuming so much, I looked at my fiancé and said to him that I am leaving, won't make his mother's life a hell... In a sarcastic way of course... 

My eyes locked with his and telepathically I told him to keep his shit together, his secret is safe with me (aka that he just wants to get away from his mother:)) and he needs to pick either me or her mother. He understood and asked me to give him a little time because his head is full of noise and he can't think straight. I said to him to take all the time he needs, and with that I turned around and went to the room where the chocolate boxes were lying. I collected every single gifted boxes of chocolates, packed them up, and on the way out the house, like a very stubborn little girl, I turned around with the boxed chocolates in my hands and told them both: "Mean people don't deserve chocolate" and nicely expressed that they can shub their opinions up their arse. 

My fiancé was trying to pull off a straight face but my mother in law to be was shocked to the core on every single level. And me? I felt so defeated and sad of the fact that human nature can be this fucked up, yet still left the house without regrets. 

I walked away that day with my chocolates and my dignity. What I didn't understand until much later is that the chocolate was never just chocolate. It was my love offered with pure intent, expressed in sweetness and solid form. A boundary and a gift in one. And in a world where feminine principle held its natural place, that meant something. 'Mean people don't deserve chocolate' wasn't a joke. It was the truest thing I have said.